It's About Age

Moments in the Flow…Wise Women, Ancestors, and Modern Ageism

Hello again,

When synchronicity comes in threes, it’s impossible to overlook. This week the cultural experiences of aging have been showing up in various ways and I had to ponder my own feelings about this. I am now at an age that is often called “Senior,” or “Elder.” The words themselves are positive, but the response to those in that category has gone through many phases over the centuries.

A Spiritual Sister Circle

ceremonial circle

This focus on aging began to appear when I attended a new Spiritual Sister Circle last Sunday, hosted by an acquaintance of my own generation. Unlike groups I had hosted or been to before, younger, and much younger women filled the other eleven seats. They were eager to share their feelings and issues with the desire to be heard. Our Circle leader told us here was to be no ‘crosstalk’ of commenting on what was being said or trying to ‘fix’ the issue. We were asked to notice what came up for us when we were listening.

What came up for me was realizing I wanted to comment and offer advice; to counsel the way I have for decades. What also came up for me was whether these younger women would be interested in anything I had to say or judging me for my appearance and my lack of familiarity with some current jargon. I had experienced that once before and had realized that I’d made the same assumptions when I was younger, and I was not even conscious of doing so. I had plenty of time to look at all of this since I would be the next to last to speak.

When I shared, I immediately acknowledged the number of cycles around the sun I had completed and that it had been hard for me not to offer an answer for their dilemmas. I mentioned that before the circle, I had already revealed two magic powerhouse herbs for one participant’s physical problem. And I shared my own experience of getting older in terms of realizing we are never ‘finished” and that I had never made a mistake…it brought me to who I am now.

And since feminine empowerment was big on their lists, I told them about my novel, The Last Priestess. I said this first book in the series I received from a Muse was about the Celtic Druids, a time when men and women were equal—it had been this way then, and it could be again.

By the second round of sharing, I had loosened up and my humor came out. I felt safe and accepted. I found being in Circle with younger women energizing and encouraging. When the Circle closed, some of the women thanked me for things I said and got my contact information.

Synchronicity Shows Up

It so happened that the next evening, I started watching the addictive series “Younger” (which is clearly pre-2016) about a 40-year-old woman, out of the workforce for the years of being a wife and mother, who discovers she is now ‘too old’ to be hired. At the advice of a roommate, she has a younger-look makeover, claims she is 27, and lands a job in a publishing company. And she starts dating a guy who is 14 years younger. This creates the drama of keeping her identity hidden and these short episodes that roll into the next keep you going for hours to find out what happens.

Millennials with their devices.

When I grew up there wasn’t a big emphasis on names for generations. The Baby Boomers simply stood out because there were so many being born in the years after WWII. Now there are more Gen’s than I can keep up with and their Boomer bashing reminds me of our ‘never trust anyone over 30.’ Until we were thirty, of course. In ‘Younger’, the upward mobility was for the Millennials who had taken the revolutions of their predecessors to whole new levels in every area.

The issue of turning 40 was real but so was turning 30 and the beginning of each subsequent decade. But I couldn’t relate to being rejected because of my age when I was 40. In fact, that was probably the busiest time of my professional life where I became well-known in several fields.

And I think the shift for those coming to that age later than I did was due to more technology and the advent of social media with constant changes of ‘trending’ ideas, words, fashions. Liza from “Younger” almost gives herself away by not knowing some applications for her phone or what a meme is. You had to keep up with that. Now, we all must.

But there have been ways put in place to stop this kind of job discrimination and even a bit more. Seniors (who arrive at this status at age 55) face a world with more scam artists and more attempts to take advantage. There is a specific and growing area of lawsuits: Elder Abuse.

I experienced this when I and my white hair went alone to a long-standing family-owned business in town to get new kitchen appliances. I had a hard time after they delivered a bad item, wouldn’t admit it, and refused to give me what I deserved. Finally, the suggestion that this might be “Elder Abuse” got immediate results. In the current political climate, we’re waiting to see if these protections will remain.

The Third Synchronicity

Another synchronicity came today with an email from a woman in the group last Sunday. She wanted to know if I would be interested in joining a Wise Woman Council. Yes, I would. And she creates beautiful art photos of women of various ages and in various stages of nudity to help them deal with body issues. While I think that could provide a good service to help women’s self-esteem, it’s not for me now.

I’m sure I’m not alone in looking back at my younger self and wondering why I ever had an issue about my looks. What a waste of time I could have spent exulting in my beauty. I tell myself to remember that I will look back on photos of me now and say the same thing. But it does get harder, because women aren’t allowed to age. Except Judy Dench and Helen Mirren. Hooray for them!

Dame Judy Denc

But the fun changes of puberty are reversed in the ongoing changes of later years. And it’s not something I was told about. I’m not sure if this was because it isn’t a fun topic or the fact that when aging, we don’t all do the same thing, at the same time. But I am on the quest of accepting, allowing, and maintaining good health regimes. That just makes sense to me.

Wise Women and Ancestors

In the Introduction to the 10^th printing of the famous book, The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho said, “Knowledge plus experience equals wisdom.” Our Ancestors knew that, even up until the time of the Boomers as children. Now, knowledge is imagined to be wisdom without the need to spend time growing into expanded ideas and understanding.

And the Boomers revolutions against the ideals of their elders, followed by the sitcoms that had ‘smart’ children disrespecting their less intelligent parents are what may have eroded this idea.

Celtic Wise Woman

Going back to the Ancestral days of the Celts, we know the Wise Woman wasn’t put out to pasture when her hair turned gray. But I notice, when speaking to readers, one of the most powerful female characters in the Revealing the Druid Legacy series is often overlooked. It is the Elder Wise Woman, Gwenhaf (gwen’ hav).

Art: Autumn Skye

At the beginning of The Last Priestess (for those who haven’t read and listened to the voiceover on my post, Introducing Anwen) Gwenhaf assists at Anwen’s birth. Then she reads the signs for who Anwen will be and cautions her mother about the lesson her daughter will face. She is a frequent visitor and friend to Merlin. She conducts the Initiation Ceremony for entering the 10^th Sun Cycle*. She takes Anwen into her home as an apprentice, learning herbal matters and more. Even after her passing she will be the mentor whose message helps Anwen stay true to the vow she made to complete her role in preserving Druid wisdom. At all times, this Elder Wise Woman is treated with reverence.

While other female characters will stand out for their dramatic moments or personal story, it is Gwenhaf the Elder Wise Woman who creates the foundation for what is to come.

Maiden Mother Crone

The Four Stages of Women

Now that many are living longer lives in this Elder phase, I think the notion of the Three Stages for Women: Maiden, Mother, Crone, now deserve one more: Maiden, Mother, Matriarch, and Mystic. This fourth Stage would include the Dark or New Moon phase.

In this last stage, like the Fourth Quarter of the Lunar Phase, we are letting go of what’s no longer needed or productive and still have a contribution to make in the experiences that have brought us to this moment, the wisdom we can share, the power of our healing ways and visions. And if returning is our destiny, we are preparing the way for a new lifetime.

See you next time!

*The 10th Sun Cycle (solar year) is a ‘between time’ and those times in life, or places on earth (shorelines) were considered powerful portals. No longer a child, not yet a woman, there were different chores and preparations. You’ll read all about her 10th Cycle ceremony in Chapter 2 of The Last Priestess.

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