Darkness Before the Light

Moments in the Flow: A Traumatic Event Was My Doorway to Healing

Nasa Hubbel on Unsplash

Hello again,

We are in a lull between significant astronomical/astrological events, and I thought I would tell what led me to become a Lightworker in the late 1970s.

Before I begin I want to say that I only speak for myself and my own experience here. I am aware of how difficult overcoming trauma can be. I am grateful now that I can see what I thought would leave me sitting under my loft bed with my thumb in my mouth for the rest of my life was gentle in comparison and followed by an intervention that worked for me.

I had grown up and lived in NYC for close to thirty years of my life and had developed what we called ‘street smarts.’ This was a certain way of acting, a way of walking, and a way of avoiding eye contact that made you feel safe in a city that was becoming more dangerous.

That all changed in the late 1970s on New Year’s Eve when I was coming home by myself in a borrowed car. Parking was always an issue, so I was grateful to find a spot just around the corner from my brownstone apartment, across the street from Prospect Park. There was no one around when I got out and locked the car door.

And Just Like That…

The night was cold and damp and I had my hooded trench coat on. I was still wearing the glasses I needed for driving and holding my keys in the coat’s right pocket. A beige leather shoulder bag that was a birthday gift was over my left shoulder when I set off for the corner.

Suddenly I heard fast footsteps and a deep voice whispered, “street mugging,” and my purse was grabbed off my arm. I watched the two guys run across the road, me yelling after them to take my wallet and leave the bag. But they disappeared into the trees and the park that separated my neighborhood from their own.

It was about 1:00 a.m. and people would still be celebrating or starting to sleep the celebration off. But that didn’t matter because there was no way I could reach anyone until I got home. I was grateful I had the keys in my pocket…I could get into my house, and they couldn’t.

Once I got in, I called a friend in the neighborhood, and she and her boyfriend came over. They both spent an hour or so trying to console me, but I was in shock. And I no longer felt capable of keeping myself safe on the city streets.

An Opportunity Arrives

At some point during that first week or two, a friend called and said I had to come to an Introduction to the light work she was studying. I had met her doing EST (now Landmark Education) and after that we had both looked at Hindu paths. I said I was overloaded from exploring these new things.

I was ready to hang up, but then she said the magic words. “At the Intro you’ll receive the White Light which will keep you safe.”

NASA Hubbel

“When and where?” was my reply. And I appeared for the Intro at the Actualism* Center in the Hotel Olcott on W. 72^nd Street and embarked on one of the best journeys I have had in this lifetime. I was at the Center almost every week for over 5 years and the transformation was profound.

If you visit their website, you will read how “ActualDesign is a step-by-step process of active meditation for accelerating spiritual growth toward wholeness and enlightenment. Every human being is on an evolutionary journey of return—a homecoming—to awareness of their Actual Self and the design and purpose of their life.”

And the way they achieve this: “Using ancient techniques of Agni Yoga in a modern formulation, ActualDesign training teaches how to work with inner “light-fire” energy tools and techniques to increase the joy of living, to heal oneself and to help others heal, to enrich creative inspiration and expression, and to solve problems in every area of life.

To heal we must learn, and all true learning involves healing our separation from who we actually are. ActualDesign is known as the teaching that heals and the healing that teaches.”

What they don’t mention here is that the frequencies and properties of Color are part of the process. And there was unique bodywork and other individual sessions to receive, too

Moving Away

Marriage took me away from NYC and access to the Center which is now located in several places on the west coast of California. But I keep up with my own sessions and I’m fortunate to participate in a group with planetary focus.

One day, I looked back and realized that if I hadn’t been traumatized by the mugging and fearful of living in the City, I would not have been open to starting this work. I would have missed out on something that has been of great benefit to me and to others who felt the energy in my own bodywork career, or certain lightwork techniques I am able to share.

If you’re interested, you can find information on Classes and/or how to experience the Intro to the White Light.

See you next time!

*Actualism was the name until they chose to switch to something more representative of the work: ActualDesign.